1. Welcome Aboard
2. It’s a federal requirement that you….[insert here]
It may or may not be. Chances are your flight attendant is making up the rules as he or she goes, some of the them amazingly absurd.
3. There are still some phones turned on. We can’t leave the gate until all phones are switched off.
You can fool some of the people some of the time, but give up on that when flying to/from silicon valley. We know better.
4. Flight attendants are here primarily for your safety.
Translation: we're embarrassed that our job is "serving" people and we're not proud of what we do.
5. Use of cellular phones on board may interfere with the navigation systems on the airplane.
See #3 above.
6. I’ll be right back with that…
I've been waiting for one can of soda since 1987.
7. We're all out of the [insert entrée here]
Actually, we're holding that one back for our own lunch.
8. We just need a few minutes of your undivided attention.
You've seen this video 500 times.
9. If there’s anything we can do to make your trip more comfortable, please don’t hesitate to call on us.
Use the attendant call button at your own risk.10. Thank you for your business. It’s been our pleasure serving you today.
We've hidden in the galley as long as we could and we asked the captain to keep the seat belt sign on most of the time so you can't bother us. Thank goodness this flight with you people is over.
 |
| And we cooked this at home just for you. Picture by 737700 |
No comments:
Post a Comment